By The Angry Noodle
I recently subscribed to Shudder, looking for some horror anthologies to check out. I found Greg Nicotero’s Creepshow (so, the 2019 version, not the 1982) and decided, “Screw it, I’m gonna write a post about every Creepshow (2019) season one episode, ranked.”
I’m including a “gore factor” too, just for funsies.
Let’s begin.
Spoilers ahead.
12. The Finger
Summary: A man who collects lost things comes across a finger…and it’s growing.
Rating: 5/10
Gore Factor: 9/10. Lots of murder and death.
Not gonna lie, I found this one the least enjoyable (hence its ranking). The monster thing, Bob, is actually kinda cute, but the meta narration just didn’t quite do it for me.
I do like the idea of this monster grown from a discarded finger going around assassinating anyone who pisses you off, and the fact that our protagonist is an unreliable narrator. But this episode just wasn’t for me. I found myself getting distracted and missing parts of the episode a few times.
11. By the Silver Water of Lake Champlain
Summary: The daughter of a man who died trying to find the legendary sea monster Champ might just get a chance to find the monster herself.
Rating: 5.5/10. One of the more forgettable episodes, in my opinion.
Gore Factor: 2/10. Some gore towards the end.
I wasn’t a huge fan of the acting in this one, and I found the story predictable. I did like the little twist that the monster they found was the child (I think?) of the actual Champ, who devours this episode’s antagonist in one bite. Metal as fuck, man.
But otherwise, yeah, this episode was just okay.
10. Grey Matter
Summary: A man’s drinking problem reaches an extreme when a hurricane hits a small town.
Rating: 6/10
Gore Factor: 4/10. The scene with the corpses being discovered in the bathtub was decently gnarly. It’s also a pretty gross episode, what with the slime and everything.
This was fine. The acting was pretty great, got that southern twang going for it. It was also pretty gross and gooey, so if you like that kinda stuff, you’re in for a good time.
There’s also something to be said about its message, how booze changes a person. I’ve struggled with self-medicating with booze and then weed, so I know what it can do to you. And the way the son ends up unwittingly feeding the addiction, creating a monster because he doesn’t know what else to do…it’s good stuff. A decent watch. Not my favorite and not the most memorable, but a decent episode.
9. The Companion
Summary: A lonely man builds himself a scarecrow companion.
Rating: 6.5/10.
Gore Factor: 4/10. Some gore when the scarecrow gets all murdery, and a suicide.
I liked the story behind how the scarecrow beast came to be. The acting of the dude who created it was really great, and it tugged at my noodly heartstrings just a little. I also got some It vibes from the kid, his friend, and his douchey brother Billy. But, I don’t know…it didn’t hold my attention very much, so I’m putting it pretty far down.
8. Bad Wolf Down
Summary: American soldiers have more than Nazis to fight when a wolf beast comes to town (‘MURICA!).
Rating: 7/10
Gore Factor: 9/10. It’s Gore Central up in this biz. Lots of ripping and tearing.
Look, I fucks with Nazis getting killed. And while I’m always anti-military-industrial complex, I will make an exception for the scene of a bunch of Nazis getting ripped to pieces by three army werewolves.
The gore is over-the-top and silly, but in a way that I like. The head Nazi gets a nice, slow jaw-ripping, too. Bonus points for that.
7. The Man in the Suitcase
Summary: A dude down on his luck finds a man in a suitcase who spits out coins whenever he’s in pain.
Rating: 7.5/10
Gore Factor: 2/10, a bit of gore and violence but nothing crazy, and most of it is off-screen.
Karma for greed, we love to see it. I like that this episode was a test of morality: are you willing to cause others unimaginable pain if it means you can make a profit?
I always recommend Jessie Singer’s There Are No Accidents because the book does a great job of demonstrating that nothing is an accident and that regulations are written in blood. A lot of profit comes at the cost of safety and quality, and this episode felt like an extreme, supernatural example of the kind of greedy people who are willing to sacrifice the most vulnerable among us for a quick buck. A good episode.
6. Night of the Paw
Summary: A mortician learns the hard way that you don’t mess with a monkey’s paw.
Rating: 7/10
Gore Factor: 5/10. Not a lot of gore, but the gore that’s there is pretty nasty.
I love the concept of the monkey’s paw, that your own greed and desires can be your undoing, and that toying with fate can have dire consequences. The fact that Whitey’s wife comes back to life just like he wished for, but a living corpse trapped in a coffin, that’s…whew, that’s a rough one.
I also like how the wishes come to pass. There’s always a price to pay, and often the price leaves the wisher even worse off than before.
This episode could be kind of slow at parts and the sudden fiery end felt…unnecessary, but overall, I enjoyed it.
5. Times is Tough in Musky Holler
Summary: A mayor and his closest allies face justice for the first and last time.
Rating: 7.5/10
Gore Factor: 6/10. Zombies! Gore at the very end. Pretty brutal.
I liked this one. Getting comeuppance on a Neegan/Governer-esque monster who created a sick game, by forcing him and his compatriots to endure that very same torture? Magnificent.
My one gripe is that it went on for a bit longer than I felt it needed to, and I would have liked to see more gore towards the end when all of them are being devoured by the zombies of the same people they condemned to a gruesome death once before. I would have liked a bit more payoff instead of just a brief glimpse of the mayor’s destroyed face at the end.
4. The House of the Head
Summary: A little girl’s dollhouse starts to change after a severed head appears on the coffee table.
Rating: 7.5/10
Gore Factor: 1/10. Lots and lots of ✨doll gore,✨but no, you know, gore gore.
I found the concept of this one really fun. The way the little girl keeps trying to buy different dolls that will protect the family from the severed head, all for naught. And the implication at the end with the head appearing in the house. chef’s kiss
A really fun episode.
3. Skincrawlers
Summary: Dr. Sloane has got a magnificent new body sculpting procedure, with a 100% success rate, yay! Nothing. Can. Go wrong!
Rating: 8/10
Gore Factor: 10/10. It’s so outlandish it’s kind of amusing, but gorey nonetheless.
Fun episode. I’m not big on the silly-looking fat suit they had one of the actresses wear, but this episode exemplifies the lengths some people will go to have the “perfect” body, willing to try even dangerous, sketchy procedures so long as it’s packaged nicely.
2. Lydia Layne’s Better Half
Summary: A powerful businesswoman is in a bit of a pickle when she kills her better half.
Rating: 8.5/10
Gore Factor: 3/10. Some gnarly gore when Celia is killed, but not much beyond that.
I liked this episode a lot. Lydia Layne is the ultimate “gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss,” expecting Celia to be her little sidekick, her arm candy, rather than a capable businesswoman in her own right. It’s this kind of false feminism, the kind where those who get to the top pull the ladder up behind them, that prevents true progress.
It felt good when Celia got her vengeance. Real good.
1. All Hallow’s Eve
Summary: A group of kids goes trick-or-treating.
Rating: 9/10
Gore Factor: 0/10. No gore.
My personal favorite. This one actually tugged at my heartstrings a little. Me! Okay, I’m kind of a sucker so it’s not that surprising, but still.
Nice little twist at the end, the kind of twist that switches up who you feel sorry for. I like the chemistry between the kids, too. And they play Dungeons & Dragons in the flashback, so that gets bonus points from me.
Well acted, interesting premise, a nice plot twist at the end. It really keeps you guessing, too.
