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Spoiler: Possible Outcomes:

The Quest Giver

Traits: humble, resolute, trusting, troubled, maybe a bit naive, needy, innocent (depends)

Examples: Edmond (RuneScape), Ilthalaine (World of Warcraft), The Ancestor (Darkest Dungeon), Ysolda (Skyrim), Anderson (Mass Effect)

NPC Allies: The Fixer, The Tutorial Guide, The Guard, That Merchant You Always Go To (sometimes)

NPC Enemies: The Final Boss, That One F*cking Boss, That Merchant You Always Go To (sometimes)

Death Rating: Low-Medium; generally unlikely, but it really depends on the quest and the game


The Tutorial Guide

Traits: wise, knowledgeable, helpful, sometimes a bit of a know-it-all

Examples: Roddeck Placehold (RuneScape), Merle Ambrose (Wizard101), Assistant (all Kairosoft games), Tutorial World (Terraria)

NPC Allies: The Fixer, The Guard

NPC Enemies: The Final Boss, That One F*cking Boss, The Mob

Death Rating: Very Low; tutorial guides are usually not even killable

The Guard

Traits: protective, honorable, loyal, a lil’ ditzy, not especially strong, trying your best

Examples: Skyrim guards, Assassin’s Creed guards, Dishonored guards, Metal Gear guards, etc, etc

NPC Allies: The Fixer, The Tutorial Guide, The Quest Giver, That Merchant You Always Go To

NPC Enemies:  The Final Boss, That One F*cking Boss, The Mob, The Memer (sometimes)

Death Rating: High-Very High; whether dealing with the evil minions (The Mob), getting made an example of by The Final Boss, or getting killed over and over again by a morally questionable player, you are guaranteed to die, and die often. Sorry, bud.


That Merchant You Always Go To

Traits: business-savvy, charismatic, a bit greedy, oddly clairvoyant, weird taste in collections, might be gossipy

Examples: Tom Nook (Animal Crossing), Rodin (Bayonetta), Beedle (The Legend of Zelda series), The Merchant (Resident Evil series), Belethor (Skyrim), The Mad Merchant (World of Warcraft)

NPC Allies: honestly, whoever’s doing business with you

NPC Enemies: whoever’s threatening your business. So usually The Mob, The Final Boss, and That One F*cking Boss, unless you’ve made some kind of deal with the baddies. It can also be the player character if the player likes putting buckets on heads and robbing people.

Death Rating: Low-Medium; depends on if the game lets the player kill you. If so, with those prices? You’re f*cked, my guy.


The Final Boss

Traits: tough, ambitious, downright scary, intimidating, morally questionable, may possess some dark powers and a tail, megalomaniac

Examples: Wheatley (Portal 2), Flowey (Undertale), Sephiroth (Final Fantasy XII), Diablo (Diablo series), Master Hand (Super Smash Bros)

NPC Allies: That One F*cking Boss, The Mob

NPC Enemies: everyone who gets in your way

Death Rating: Very High; you’re the end game, my guy! Sure, some game storylines might end in you being spared, but it’s unlikely, especially if you’re a (literal) monster.

The Living Meme

Traits: goofy, fun, a bit vulgar, unflappable

NPC Allies: ???

NPC Enemies: ??? Whoever you drive crazy with your antics, I guess?

Death Rating: Very Low; memey bois never die.


That One F*cking Boss

Traits: lowkey, tough, dark horse, resilient, loner, stubborn

Examples: Sans (Undertale; to be fair, he’s technically a final boss, but I digress), Dr. Kahl’s Robot (Cuphead), Ornstein & Smough (Dark Souls), Absolute Virtue (Final Fantasy XI)

NPC Allies: The Final Boss, The Mob

NPC Enemies: The Fixer, The Tutorial Guide, The Quest Giver, The Guard

Death Rating: Very High; possibly just as high as The Final Boss, since the player probably needs to kill you just to get to them, and you do not make that easy

The Mob

Traits: consistent, reliable, unassuming, crowd-pleasing, loyal

Examples: Draugur (Skyrim), Goombas (Mario series), Murlocs (World of 

NPC Allies: The Final Boss, That One F*cking Boss

NPC Enemies: The Fixer, The Quest Giver, The Guard, The Tutorial Guide

Death Rating: Super High; you will die over and over and over and over again. More than anyone else, except maybe The Guards.


Liked that quiz? Check out one of these:

Personality Quiz: How Would You Be Unalived in a Horror Movie?

Personality Quiz: Which Mythical Creature Are You?

Personality Quiz: Which Popular Fantasy Character Trope Are You?

Personality Quiz: Which YA Dystopian Character Trope Are You?


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By The Angry Noodle

Bryanna Gary is the founder of The Angry Noodle. She is very smol and noodly, and also dipped in pasta sauce.

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